September 11, 2012

Blind Date #FlashFiction

Lip. Sick. Suck.
Lip. Sick. Suck. (Photo credit: Stu Willis)

Blind Date
Being a virgin at thirty-five sucked but Bradley refused to succumb to his carnal desires. He had chances but he let them pass claiming he was waiting on his 'Juliet' but his friends knew the truth. Brad was just terrible with women.

"You're a hopeless romantic, Bradster." His friends lied, but he never could tell.

They were right, he was a hopeless romantic and to get them off his back Bradley agreed to a blind date; he knew nothing good ever came from these but he went ahead anyway,

"Are you Monica?" He said, extending his hand out.

"I'm  Bradley, would you like a drink?"

The paleness of her skin, unkempt matted hair, and wide-eyed expression alarmed him; it was just his luck, she was either drunk, crazy, or an addict,

"Let's go outside." She said in an almost whisper and taking his hand.

She leads him out, behind the bar, pressing him against the wall and kisses his neck.

The kissing led to nibbling and then to a full on bite,tearing his throat open. His last  sight; color returning to her alabaster cheeks, blushing with his blood.

I would appreciate any feedback, criticisms, or advice on what is wrong with the above piece. I'm looking to get better, so if anything looks off please let me know. Thanks.

1 comment:

  1. I think he should notice her appearance before asking if she's his blind date. I'd have to mull over it for a few days before I could give any constructive criticism. Nudge me in a day or two. :-)